It is never easy writing to you, I find it difficult each time I pick up a pen . it is like a dark shroud of forbearing that enveloped our past keeps me from opening up my fears. I never believed in second chances, I felt like it was an excuse to stay in the past but for you I prayed for a second chance just to see you again. You were in so so much pain that no matter how hard I wished you stayed alive, deep down I wanted you to be at peace.
There is so much I needed to tell you, a lot you needed to be aware of. We had plans, big plans for our future. How do I carry on with this? I ask myself this every single day. It is too much of a load for me. I know I am not in the position to complain considering where you are!
I will refrain for doing that in the nearby future and I hope you can bear with me until then.
I hope I showed how much you meant to me and I wish you knew how sorry I was for not being there with you, I should have known, there should be a part of me that feels empty, yet I feel normal
It is not as if a huge part of my life is gone.
A lot to say, so many questions but you are gone from this life so they remain unsaid!!
~OMA
@yourpenship.
Life…
Really painful